This game is dedicated to my wife,
without whose inspiration
I could never have created
YOU STUPID BITCH!
The Real Simulation of Mixed-up Matrimonial Madness
Got dice in your hand? Ice in your heart? You're ready to play!
At age 5, you played House.
At 8, you played Doctor.
At 12, it was Mystery Date.
At 13, Spin The Bottle.
After you play Hide The Salami, your innocence is pretty well shot. You'll get caught in somebody's headlights and no amount
of rolling dice or moving tokens will ever distract you from your agonizing fate. A couple years after you settle down with that
special someone who your family detests, the only games you play are Lotto and the smooth, simple, reassuring game of
Vodka. Your family was right.
Never mind all that. This game will help you forget, put it all behind you. Acting out the struggles between two manipulative
vipers will take your mind off the real viper who manipulates you.
Don't want to forget about it? Fine, you can use this game as a therapeutic tool to deal with your viper. "Dear, it's not that I
don't find you attractive. It's just that I can't roll below my Intimacy attribute tonight." "If you leave one more bowl fulla soggy
Cheerios in the sink over night, I'll exceed my Maximum Asshole. How would you like that, huh, bastard? You really think I'll
be able to save versus Mule to avoid filing papers? Huh?!"
Of course, if you're not chained to anyone yet, this game will prepare you for the kind of tedious, maddening conflict that you
may soon face.
When printing the rules to YSB!, remember to
go into PAGE SETUP and look around for a
way to set it to print all text black. Otherwise
the light colored lettering won't print. Unless
you got a hi falutin color printer, you bastard.